Friday, September 14, 2007
Been quite a while since i last posted.Its the end of prelims,however this marks the beginning of the O's.I wonder if this is good or bad news.though Everyday did not worked out as planned today.Helped Desmond with Stace's Birthday present then we met her.We are like suppose to play soccer like tonight and the god damn Braddell-Heights built a tent over our court,god damn it man!!!i guess my day is totally ruined due to this shit.I have no moood to do anything,not even sleep.
So i guess someone up there must really hate me.After working so hard for 3 weeks and my only day of enjoyment is ruined by a stupid tent.Gonna really run myself into a wall or something to keep myself occupied.
I realised something though.My life is thoroughly controlled by my friends.If my friends quit over some stuff,i would blindly follow.i guess this is what really kills me slowly.I guessed i am so preoccupied with my friends that i hardly look at myself or my life.I hardly paid attention to how I was spending my time ,only caring about how to make the life of other's better.Man said "kindness begets kindness".But i doubt so.Which part of my life do i ever get something in return?Never in my life had this ever happened.Not even once.Do you think life is ever fair on this land.People are judged academically,so those who are born with smart brains are elites.What about the non-prodigies in the society.We worked so hard mugging day and night and all we received are grades that are incomparable to those of those people of higher calibre.Those who sow in tears will reap with shout of joy.Thats utter bullshit man.If mugging for 18 hours a day doesn't equal to anything much compared to the braniacs,I dunno what i should do sacrificing my time for 2-3.5 hours of sleep a day receiving inferior grades.That is totally demoralising.
I guess i would only live 5 more years in this society,as my health deteriorates day by day as i step towards the GCE O's.I guess my dream would be to be able to live in the valleys of the blue mountains.Nothing would trouble me over there.Life would be carefree.But how many of us could lead lives like that.With families to look after and loved ones to care about,a life like this is unthinkable,let alone the possibility of achieving this dream.
Its like 99.999999% suicidal tendency for me now.hope i don't do anything stupid before the o'levels.Guess i have to start mugging tonight since i have nothing to do.Bye PEOPLE!!!
You are my life
5:35 PM
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